MS Speaks: Calling someone your work wife/husband is a joke until it isn’t
Like the rest of the world, I find the Astronomer saga completely enthralling.
A married Chief Executive Officer caught happily canoodling, publicly, mind you, with his Head of Human Resources.
Source: Pop Base on X
It is peak drama, and I would pay to be a fly on the wall at the Astronomer headquarters the morning after.
Did employees always suspect it? Were there signs?
Were they each other’s work wife and work husband, constantly exchanging knowing glances and sharing looks that were more than just platonic?
Work crushes are normal, but so are boundaries
As juicy as the Astronomer scandal is, it is not all that surprising.
People who work together, especially in office jobs, often develop some form of mutual attachment.
After all, they spend a whopping five of their seven days a week with each other, not counting overtime.
Stressful periods also force colleagues to lean on each other for support, and these shared experiences can lead to a closeness and maybe even attraction.
Source: Andreea Avramescu on Unsplash. Image for illustration purposes only.
So, if you ask me, workplace crushes are bound to happen — but there is a decision to make when the parties involved have partners.
Do they:
Draw boundaries, respect their relationships, and move on, or,
Act on this crush, and have a “work wife/husband” that could escalate into an affair?
With the latter, they continue to choose to perform as partners under the guise of “innocent” wordplay.
But as the saying goes, and as shown by the recent Astronomer saga, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Having a work wife or hubby is not all fun and games
In some offices, workplace romances are frowned upon, or even straight-up banned, and it is not difficult to see why.
Scandals involving leadership can impact a company’s image.
Meanwhile, less emotionally mature employees who find themselves in these “situationships” that inadvertantly cross boundaries may experience a decline in focus and performance.
After all, a lover’s spat is even more challenging to handle when your partner is two seats away, taking out their frustrations on a keyboard.
Source: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Image for illustration purposes only.
In cases where someone in a senior role is seeing a junior, people may even whisper about favouritism.
That said, I’ve seen my fair share of office couples who managed to make it work.
The common thread?
Both parties are mature and know how to set boundaries at work. Yes, that includes refraining from public displays of affection, such as using pet names and labels.
Isn’t it tiresome to play house in the office?
Having an office spouse seems like more trouble than it is worth.
As though work is not hard enough with its meetings and deadlines, the ups and downs of having a (confusing and ambiguous) relationship with a colleague might be enough to push one over the edge.
The flirty banter, giggling over inside jokes, and heart-to-heart conversations are even more inappropriate if either or both parties are attached.
Some may still disagree and call it harmless, but I doubt anyone can imagine looking their partner in the eye and saying:
Dear, I want you to meet my work wife. I hope you and her can be best friends, because we are.
So, maybe, it’s just best to leave these labels aside.
Also read: MS Speaks: ‘BTO ai mai?’ Romance is dead in practical S’pore
MS Speaks: ‘BTO ai mai?’ Romance is dead in practical S’pore
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Featured image adapted from HCA Mag, for illustration purposes only.
