A movie I have watched more times than I care to admit is the 2005 adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.
One particular line in the movie has been a popular meme for the past couple of years, as one of the minor characters explains why she has decided to marry a man that she does not love. The line is delivered by Emma Thompson: ‘I am 27 years old. I’ve no money and no prospects. I am already a burden to my parents. And I’m frightened.’
For the average young person, Thompson’s line could hit a little too close to home. But our expectations are, of course, not the same as early 19th-century England.
Now, being 27, single, and without a lot of money or prospects is called, uh…freedom. It took us a long time to get to this point, though.
Being young and single and living by your vagaries wasn’t exactly lauded in my parents’ day. Back then, ‘living in sin’ was a very real and shameful thing. You won’t hear the phrase being thrown around too often these days.
Of course, one reason for this is that Ireland has moved on from its fears of premarital sex. Also, the housing crisis means most young people couldn’t afford to live in sin if they tried.
But it is funny to think that one generation saw living with your boyfriend or girlfriend as sinful, and the next being able to roam free.
Modern hookup culture has been the response to generations before us that believed their humanity made them sinners.
A no-strings-attached, non-committal, liberal approach to sexual encounters. Not relationships, encounters. Because the whole point is avoiding the relationship status.
I get it. You’re in college. You’ve got 12 hours of lectures every week. Your mom still picks your dirty socks up off your bedroom floor. You don’t have time to commit to an actual relationship.
And why would you want to do something like that anyway? When you’ve got dating apps and sticky nightclub dancefloors, it feels like the world is your oyster.
A stranger in the bar could be the love of your life, and a kiss can be the best way of sorting the frogs from the princes.
What exactly constitutes a hookup is vague. In my circles, people often call it ‘getting with’ someone. Vagueness is probably the point. It means different things to different people. Expectations are being kept low.
Though it can still be a bit of an expectations versus reality situation when you find yourself faced with a sweaty boy trying his level best to put all of his internet research to good use.
Really, whatever techniques he thought he mastered have left him even sweatier, while your next text to the girls’ group chat is being drafted.
You can’t blame the poor sod. Most of the sex ed class was spent with a teacher shouting at a bunch of 16-year-olds for making inappropriate innuendos.
We’re talking about a generation that received its sex ed online. I’m not saying that’s a good thing, but it’s the reality.
Imagine the disappointment of boys everywhere as they figure out that girls are regular people, not the porn stars they’ve become accustomed to. Quite the rude awakening.
Certain modern developments have made a culture of hooking up possible. University bathrooms are stocked up on condoms.
The university health clinic hands out STD tests like they’re M&Ms. And a contraceptive implant — that used to set you back €400 — is now free! It would be rude not to take one.
Thankfully, we’ve also made it to a point where casual hookups are no longer a grave moral stain on your cloth. So, everyone can be open and honest about what they’re really after when they’re chatting to someone at a bar or swiping right on a dating app.
And sure, maybe that casual hookup will lead to something a bit more long-term in future. Because it’s always good to try before you buy, if you ask me. So, there really is a lot to be said for the casual, low-pressure approach to all things romantic.
We’re not 27 with no money, no prospects, and burdening our parents anymore; we’re young. There’s a lot of frogs out there, so it’s not a bad idea to weed a few of them out while you can.
We’ve got our whole lives to settle down, why rush?
