Our screens are brimming with commercials of happy families celebrating Christmas, but for some Australians the festive season is actually the loneliest time of year.
Mission Australia has been fielding phone calls every single day in the lead-up to Christmas, from people who have nowhere to spend it.
The demand aligns with data showing the frequency of social contact, both in-person and online, has been declining in Australia for the past two decades.
Analysis from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found loneliness and social isolation were exacerbated since the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Social isolation and loneliness are among the many factors that can be detrimental to a person’s wellbeing,” it reported.
Celebrating with mates
Darwin is Australia’s smallest capital city, with some of the country’s most expensive airline fees, so it’s not uncommon to be separated from loved ones in December.
For people in remote Australia who can’t be with family these holidays, celebrating with your chosen family for a “Friendsmas” helps foster a sense of connection.
These Top End mates celebrated Friendsmas at Tiwi, in Darwin’s northern suburbs. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
For 26-year-old Dana McDonald, visits to family interstate can be few and far between, so she cherishes her Friendsmas celebrations in Darwin.
“You get to spend deliberate time with the people that you love deeply,” she says.
“It definitely helps with a lot of the loneliness you feel at this time of year, living away from family and feeling maybe disconnected.”
Dana says spending quality, intentional time with loved ones fosters a sense of social connection — the delicious Christmas ham is just an added bonus. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
Dana says “that’s the beauty of” a transient place like Darwin: “You make friends for life”.
“That’s what I’ve recognised since being up here in the last few years, is that it’s not the amount of time, it’s the quality of time,” she says.
Gifts aren’t essential at Friendsmas, it all depends on how your mates decide to celebrate. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
Dana says “it’s not unusual to feel lonely this time of year”, so, after a long, hot 2025, she believes the best way to celebrate the silly season is with “people that make you feel good, that fill your cup”.
Shane Butcher, 36, and his wife are among those special people — they’re keen to make Friendsmas an annual tradition.
Shane says Friendsmas is all about spending quality time with good company. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
“We’re all here together because life gets a bit too busy and we can’t catch up all the time, so it’s just good to set aside a day, exchange a few presents, have a good Christmas lunch and just enjoy,” he says.
Their celebration changes each festive season, from building gingerbread houses to playing video games and enjoying a movie, but the one constant every year is sharing “those belly laughs”.
Shane says Darwin always has “perfect weather, unless it’s raining, and even then it’s still pretty good”, so a dip in the pool is usually on the Friendsmas agenda. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
Sharing a meal
But geography isn’t the only factor contributing to isolation in the holidays.
From Australia’s smallest capital to its most populous, social connection remains just as vital.
Christmas puts meaningful connections in the spotlight, but not everyone has family to celebrate with. (ABC News: Dane Hirst)
In Sydney’s Marrickville, people gather weekly to share a meal at Addison Road Community Organisation.
The charity’s chief executive, Rosanna Barbero, says attendees from all walks of life connect at their services.
She says December is the most important time of year for these events.
Addison Road Community Organisation combats loneliness and food insecurity with regular meal services in Sydney. (ABC News: Zac Pitkethley)
“If you switch on the television, you’re always being reminded that it’s the festive, joyful period,” she says.
“There’s commercials about buying food and cooking for Christmas Day, and being surrounded by happy, smiling families that are singing carols.
“There are so many people that are not in that situation, so it’s a constant reminder that you are alone.”
In addition to social events, the charity also runs a community pantry that opens each afternoon.
Rosanna Barbero says many community members attend the services to connect with others and share a meal. (ABC News: Mridula Amin)
Rosanna says locals will gather outside in the hours before the pantry opens, to catch up with each other and those working behind the scenes.
Barry Shuttleworth is part of the 800-strong army of volunteers and has been spreading the silly season joy dressed up in his daughter’s “Moo-ry Cow-ristmas” costume.
For anyone battling loneliness today, he suggests seeking out the “great feeling of joy and support” that fills the air around these community events.
Barry Shuttleworth is spreading joy this silly season. (Facebook: Addi Road Community Organisation)
Connecting with community
Over in Perth, Carley Smith has been working with more than 350 volunteers to deliver Mission Australia’s 50th annual Christmas Lunch in the Park (CLIP).
She says it’s an open invitation, with 1,650 three-course meals prepared ahead of the big day, and no guest is ever turned away.
For guests aged 14 and over, Mission Australia care packages will offer toiletries and non-perishable food items. (ABC News: Rick Rifici)
It’s the biggest event of its kind in the country and Carley loves the rewarding sense of celebration and joy it delivers at a time when “cost of living is obviously impacting everybody”.
Mission Australia has seen an uptick in the volume of people reaching out for support, and she says events like CLIP help families who can’t afford lots of presents or a big Christmas Day lunch.
Santa will be present at the community-funded event, with lots of children’s presents ready to go. (ABC News: Rick Rifici)
The support sometimes comes full circle — Carley says a number of former guests now serve others at the event.
“One of the volunteers, her only positive memories of Christmas Day as a child, was when she attended CLIP,” she says.
“That story just breaks my heart but it shows what a difference Christmas Lunch in the Park can make to a family.”
Carley says it’s important to be kind to ourselves and others because “sometimes, that Christmas period is a really tough time of year”.
Mission Australia’s Carley Smith says it can be tough to maintain relationships with loved ones living far away, but sometimes a quick phone call is all it takes to spark a sense of connection. (ABC News: Rick Rifici)
If there’s someone in your life struggling with loneliness, she suggests heeding the advice of a famous proverb: “When you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence”.
“If you’ve got space for extras on Christmas Day, reach out to your friends that might be isolated, that might not have family close by, invite them over — you’ll have a fun time,” Carley says.
“If you are far from your family and friends, it’s really tough to keep those relationships going but it’s lovely to reach out.”
