Becoming a Japanese street tough might just be the change of pace you need.
They say the new year is a time for new beginnings. For some of us, that might mean graduations, weddings, or new jobs, but for others it might mean a descent into the seedy underworld of crime and violence. That’s not the kind of thing you just jump into with both feet, though. First, you have to look the part.
For a long time, our writer Masanuki Sunakoma has always longed to shed off the conventions of society and rebel against it by making his own rules and asserting his dominance over others through might and cunning. He can never quite work up the nerve, however, and even after purchasing authentic clothing used by Japanese delinquents, he always hesitates to cross that thin line between law-abiding citizen and sword-toting yakuza enforcer.
Then again, 2025 has been quite the year that could drive anyone to the dark side, so he decided to try once more by getting a Hey Punk! Ensemble Lucky Bag for 5,478 yen (US$35) from Birth Japan, the nation’s leading wholesaler of clothing tailored exclusively to ne’er-do-wells.
This was a Japanese lucky bag, which usually consists of a variety of goods beyond just clothing. This one contained two copies of the Kachikomi catalog, where you can buy more underworld outfits. “Kachikomi” is a Japanese slang term that means something like a “bumrush” or to “run up on” someone in the sense of one gang rushing into another’s office or turf to start trouble.
It is assumed that once you try on these forbidden clothes and get a taste for the criminal life, you’ll naturally want to fill your entire closet with them. Also, it’s hard for these kinds of fashion houses to operate through brick-and-mortar stores, because the man is always keeping them down.
▼ Hope you like black and gold!
It also came with three packets of tissues, presumably to wipe other people’s blood off your knuckles. They each had a different homicidal maniac on the package saying things such as “I’m exercisin’ my right to remain silent,” and “I ain’t know nuttin’ about that.”
But the centerpiece to any Birth Japan lucky bag is always the clothes. This year, Masanuki’s outfit came courtesy of Diamond, which is currently having a sale to celebrate the 21st anniversary of their president’s arrest.
It was covered in cherry blossom petals, crackles of lightning, and dragons. These are all very common themes in this kind of clothing, but what really made Masanuki’s outfit stand out and truly live up to the name of an “Ensemble” was that the dragons extended all the way from the top to the bottoms.
After putting it on, our writer immediately felt the fiery eyes of his friends and foes alike, all plotting his demise in order to either secure their own seat at the table or get revenge for the many terrible things he’s done. So, he stepped out into the hallway.
Despite the ever-present threat to his life, he also felt at one with the moment. He was a free spirit and unrestrained by the arbitrary rules he never agreed to abide by in the first place.
▼ He’s blocking the elevator door, and he don’t care!
Even though there were no women in the hallway at that moment, Masanuki would be certain that their eyes would all be fixated on him. He was the type of man who would break a dizzy dame’s heart, only to have her coming back for more.
Yes, he felt on the verge of finally entering into the underworld of Tokyo and begin his ascent to the highest ranks of a criminal organization. If only he’d have the guts to step outside wearing those clothes…
▼ No one had the heart to tell him he isn’t even squatting right.
Perhaps if he had gotten the long-sleeved version of this same ensemble, he would have had that extra shot of courage. Unfortunately, it was sold out, which really surprised our writer since he’d never seen anyone wear anything remotely like this out in public in his life.
Still, there is a vast black-and-gold ocean of villainous clothing that can be had from Birth Japan. So, if you really want to switch gears in 2026, dressing like a goon from the land of the rising sun is a pretty good way to go about it.
Photos ©SoraNews24
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[ Read in Japanese ]
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