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Thanks largely to Harry Brook (52) and Jamie Smith (33), England dragged themselves to 172. Starc finished with seven, swinging the ball late and relentlessly targeting the danger area. It was swing bowling as high art.
England’s reply with the ball hinted at what might have been. Mark Wood and Jofra Archer touched 150 kph and rattled the top order. Steve Smith and Marnus Labuschagne were repeatedly struck on the gloves and body, their footwork leaden. Stokes, bowling with fire and scant regard for length, claimed five wickets. Australia finished the day looking groggy at 9-123.
What followed on the second day turned the game, and possibly the series, on its head – literally. Crawley again departed early to a brilliantly athletic caught-and-bowled by Starc, then Ben Duckett and Ollie Pope set about steadying the ship.
A lead of 250-plus appeared all England required, but Starc and a much-improved Scott Boland, well-supported by Brendan Doggett, reeled the tourists in. Three wickets from Boland mid-morning took England from 1-65 to 4-76 and ripped them apart. It soon became 5-76 when Starc had Joe Root chopping on.
England’s second innings lasted a mere 34 overs, meaning they faced only 66 overs in the match. Starc and Boland found the perfect length – just short of driving length on a surface offering pronounced bounce – and England’s top order froze.
The initial trigger movement that has become a hallmark of the Bazball era – a pronounced shift back and across the stumps before settling into another static position – left batsmen playing with hands alone. On a pitch this quick, that is terminal.
Mitchell Starc was superb in the first Test in Perth.Credit: Seven
Root, Harry Brook, and the rest fell into the trap. Brook, in particular, looked a shadow of the player who has been compared to a young Sachin Tendulkar.
Seduced by the team’s ballistic blueprint, he abandoned the minimal-footwork of playing angles method that once made him unstoppable. The result: another loose drive, another edge, another wasted opportunity for a player who could yet be England’s next great batsman.
England’s bowlers returned for a second bite and looked strangely spent. Archer managed only short bursts, Wood sprayed it, and Atkinson was impotent. The tactical acumen that had been so praised in home conditions evaporated. Australia’s left-handers, Travis Head and Jake Weatherald, tamed an attack that lost the plot.
What followed was one of the great counter-attacking Ashes innings since Adam Gilchrist’s 57-ball century at the WACA in 2006. Head demanded the opportunity to take England on, walked in with the Perth wind at his back, and played the sort of knock England thought only they were allowed to play.
Driving, pulling, cutting – he taunted them with his version of their invention. He turned a precarious position into a match-defining 123 from a mere 83 balls, ably supported by Weatherald and Labuschagne.
By the end, the bowlers and the captain were bereft of ideas and hope.
This was not just a defeat; it was a public dismantling. From one of the most fancied England sides to visit these shores this century to the subject of future Australian bar-room mirth within 24 hours.
The captain, Stokes, cut a forlorn figure, short on options and visibly drained. Coach Brendon McCullum faces the hardest question of his tenure: does he double down on the doctrine that brought 13 wins from 19 Tests at home, or does he demand a recalibration for the conditions?
Individual reckonings are equally stark. Crawley’s technique, often profitable on flatter English decks, has been brutally exposed.
Zak Crawley made a pair of ducks in Perth.Credit: Getty Images
Brook stands at a crossroads: continue the feast-or-famine approach and risk becoming a supporting player – flashes of genius amid prolonged disappointment – or rediscover the disciplined aggression that once made him the most exciting young batsman in cricket.
Root, possibly playing his final Ashes series in Australia, must address the early movements that leave him vulnerable to the moving ball.
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Yet for all the recriminations, this encounter was compelling theatre. Two days of unrelenting intensity, 673 runs, 32 wickets, and barely a dull moment.
Head demonstrated that aggression and common sense need not be mutually exclusive; Starc reminded everyone he remains the most dangerous left-arm quick on the planet when in this form.
In Perth, Australia boasted the best bowler, the best batter, the best captain and, arguably, the best game plan. The Australian selectors now have options that will make the side stronger.
They can keep opening with Head and continue to taunt England while bringing Beau Webster in to boost both batting and bowling. Cameron Green was serviceable, but he needs to rediscover lighter feet with the bat if he is to become the player that leads the next generation of batting.
England have time before Brisbane to change. They can treat Perth as the ultimate wake-up call – the shattering dose of reality required to temper ideology with pragmatism – or they can cling to dogma and invite a 5-0 repeat of 2006-07 and 2013-14.
Stokes and McCullum must decide whether they are prepared to enable continued irresponsibility or whether they will demand the discipline required to compete on Australian soil.
As Twain’s words echo down the years, England discovered in Perth the hard way, that certainty without adaptability is a dangerous illusion. The Ashes summer is two days old and already the series hangs in the balance. One thing is sure: Test cricket, for all its perceived fragility, remains gloriously, brutally alive.
